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*THE DRIFTER*

The falling stars sing back to me in the voice of one I have lost

Too long vanished to remember more than a shadowed face and touch

Looking back over the road brings me only fatigue

I the lonely traveler weave tapestry between my fingers

If I catch them, will the stars become diamonds for me?

How many masks might I create from a single ball of twine?

The way before me has never been clearer

The voice of one I have lost echoes in the shadows

Twilight stretches lingering arms above the horizon

The miles beyond my feet cannot be longer still

Than the length of road I have already walked today

In dreams I find you

In sleep I hold you

Forgetfulness never comes

Your song shall not be silent

- A poem taken from Red River 'Secession', Chapter 34.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005
COLD>
I know it's going to be Christmas, and even though it's NOT snowing, it's damn cold in here. Even when it isn't raining. The afternoon remains hot at times, but when the sky slowly ticks away to dusk, the temperature drops degree by degree, until it turns cold at midnight. Just feel the wind. It'll send you shivering at its slightest carress. Really. The cold seeps into your skin, creating goosebumps, and gnaw at your bone. Maybe it's more appropriate for me to use the adjective 'bone-scrapping' cold.

At dawn the cold is the worst. Especially the water. It feels like it comes straight from Antartica, North Pole and South Pole. It's THAT cold. As soon as the water touches my skin, the cold penetrates straight into my brain and my body gives an involuntary, violent shudders, and my teeth are chattering so badly I thought they might fall off. Still, I push on, determined to complete my shower ritual. As soon as I am done, I am amazed I haven't turned into an icicle. Or that my brain hadn't turned numb. And I can't stop muttering how cold the water is, how cold the morning is........

What's amusing, I flung my arm outside my kitchen window to test how cold the air was, and when I realized it was cold, I groaned inwardly as I readied myself for the cold, cold shower.

It was still freezing even after I put on my school uniform, until I had to put on my one and only jacket, swaeter, if you will, the bright yellow one with the white bold BECKHAM and the number 7, to shake off some of the lingering chill. And sometimes, my poor little jacket can't keep me warm enough, but his presence on me is comforting.

It's strange. Or maybe not. When it's too hot, we complain. And when it's too cold, we complain too. We humans just will never be satisfied, or grateful of our surrroundings. That's a fact. And it's quite sad, too.

Ah... I guess I better go. Be right back with other hopefully optimistic entries, oh, maybe about a few days, or weeks, later.

Ja ne!
# posted by Estelwen at 1:19 PM

Thursday, December 15, 2005
Funny How Trains Can Make You Seethe in Anger?>
Actually, I mean the commuters. Some of them.

It's early in the goddamned morning, and I feel tired and sleepy and sluggish (all not-s0-morning people will definitely feel that way, I know, I'm not the only one) but to have a vacated seat right in front of you being robbed away by another person from a feet away, who pretended to exit from the train then unceremoniously plomped himself in that tiny space and slept. It happened so quickly that I could not make any move to claim that seat mine.

Frustrated, angry and annoyed beyond belief, I only fixed him a murderous gaze, for like, 10 seconds before I tore my gaze away, barely able to keep myself from muttering curses underneath my breath. The only non-violent thing I could do was to seethe and fume. Even that I told myself to calm down, just calm down. I closed my eyes and eventually enjoyed Blue's One Love from my earpiece.

Such people, really, are truly obnoxious. It's perfectly fine with me if they are handsome or elderly or something like that. But huge, so-not-handsome, or short, thin, too-dark and also so-not-handsome guys? No freaking way! Call me anything you want, I don't particularly care.

Aw, what the hell. Nature abhors the vacuum. Those who's fast gets it. The survival of the fittest. Dammit... even I don't have the faintest idea what I'm rambling about. But I'm sure you get the gist.

Ja, for now. Just wish I have better luck tomorrow. In the train and seats.
# posted by Estelwen at 7:56 AM

Thursday, December 08, 2005
Bummer...>
Life's a bummer lately...

Here's a list of why I say so:

Lessons in school are getting boring. Mundane. Dull. You name it. Except for lessons that involve the use of computers with internet (I let the lessons slip past without actually listening to them while I'm happily surfing Fanfiction.Net)
Even life at home is equally boring. Other than doing the usual stuff; taking shower, eat, play PS2 (Dynasty Warriors 4) with my sis or use my brother's no-internet computer, I have nothing else to do.
And having to sleep quite late at night, (1.00 a.m last night -celebrated Dad's birthday, which falls today) and then wake up 4 hours later for school (which I have to walk from my house to the bustop, take bus, take train and then walk to school -that takes almost 1hr to 2hr) ... Man, I'm exhausted and sleepy even before school starts, and I simply hate that.
And somehow, for this semester, I have a nagging feeling that I won't get all A's, much less a perfect GPA score for my subjects as I did last semester, and I don't like that feeling. Not 1 tiny bit. Note to self: If I want to maintain such results, I have to pay serious attention in class, not fading away or teleport elsewhere.
What else....?
I think that pretty sums it up. Life's a bore for now, but in a good way. Still, I hope something interesting will pop out soon, or something...before this routine of life really drives me outta my mind!
PS: Even now as I am happily typing away here while my class advisor drones away on how to do Pivot Table with Microsoft Excel, I have a migraine pounding in my skull. Maybe it's because I'm too sleepy and refuses to surrender to the demanding sleepiness.
And yeah, I do have a short attention span. What's the big deal? Everyone does, (I'm sure), if he/she encounters something they don't like, or find boring or something like it.
That's all for now.

# posted by Estelwen at 10:29 AM

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